Terrorist attack in my office toilet

That's right. We have a terrorist in our office. Specifically a female one who has launched a full on attack in the female toilet. This particular terrorist strikes very close to all our hearts.

First attack, we found offensive objects floating in the toilet bowl. Something that you should have flushed and made sure all coast is clear before you leave the cubicle. An email was sent out and all was peace and quiet for a bit.

2nd attack, there are pee stains on the toilet seat. Who leaves pee stains on toilet seats unless you do not know how to use the toilet? Or you are a guy who pees with the toilet seat down.

3rd attack, you see we are reaching the climax. We found shit stains on the wall. Yes. On the wall. I know your face has paled somewhat. Mine did. How on earth could you leave shit stain on the wall if you are sitting on the toilet bowl doing your business like a girl? How bad your tummy ache must be, for you to stain the wall with shit. Did you have a bad fart attack? OR (we did venture into this theory but really deep down in our hearts we want to dismiss it) you squatted on the toilet seat to shit, and therefore able to aim the wall to stain it and also render the toilet seat disgustingly un-usable?

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Why do you have to behave like you do not have any human behaviour? Why do you bomb the toilet like you did? Why do you deprive your fellow female colleagues the right to enjoy using clean shared toilet? Why you so like that?

As Aussies like say, do us a favour mate, clean up after yourself.

Or if you like something close to your heart, in the style of my mother who always like to chastise me with this similar phrase whenever I did something wrong or unacceptable, 'Your mother never teach you to use toilet properly issit?'