Clueless Diva

Dear all faithful readers who have been tuning in every or every other day in hope of some glimpse into my life,

I am sorry that I have not been faithful in updating my blog. Even my promises of the wonderful stories I can tell of my happy trip to Melbourne will not be happening as I feel eC's and cowgum has aptly summed up how happy I was travelling with the both of them.

These 2 weeks has been a quiet turmoil. My Chairman is avisiting again and somehow or rather I found myself in a rather sticky situation of work versus life debate. I was spending virtually 24 hours on REX til I did not realise that my husband's sleeping pattern has altered so greatly that he sleeps some 6 hours later than me. I was fire fighting at work and tried desperately to keep sane while getting insane work done.

My weaknesses has shone so brightly that I reckon it will take a GREAT LONG while for the cracks to fix. I start to doubt myself. Start to doubt my self-worth. A wise man told me not to lose my dignity no matter what happens. So when the going gets so, so, so tough; do I give up? to stop short of groveling for a tiny whiny bit of appreciation for whatever little I have done; is it too hasty to just say 'I give up?'

Is Al correct to say I have no tenacity? That I cannot take it? What level should I lower myself to so that I can go on? Am I that bad?

How do I focus? How do anyone focus? What should I do?

I do not want an easy way out. But how do I go about overcoming this obstacle? Do I just grin and bear it? Or is there a better way?

I just realised that I always like to ask questions with no solutions. I think I need to learn how to think for myself.

Keep praying for me people. I need all the help God can give me. God, please do not ignore me now. I reckon I am in the pits of the valley. This should be the time I am going up hill again. I look so forward to the sunshine.